Blown Away . . . Again

Good Morning! Hope this finds you having a good day.  I've got my cup of coffee and my little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel laying next to me with her head in my lap.  Yep, we have a giant of a dog whose half Bloodhound and Great Pyrenees, but looks like a Coon hound with giantism.  She's 115 pounds of cuddle baby.  Then we have a twelve pound Cavalier.  Can you guess which one rules the roost?  LOL

I have to share something that happened yesterday, that even with all of my experiences with God, I'm still blown away!  You would think by now, I'd be used to it, but when He does stuff like this it never ceases to amaze me.  Seriously.

I've got some things going on in my life that I just can't figure out and I'm really struggling to get a handle on. So, yesterday, I prayed on them.  I've prayed before, but this time I truly let go of the whole "doing it myself" mindset and asked God to show/teach me what I need to do, or guide me to someone who can.  I surrendered to God completely and told him that I can't do it on my own.  I surrendered every attempt that I had made to solve it on my own and that I was going to let Him have it and just trust Him to show me what to do.

And that's what He was waiting for, me to give up my plans, my trying to do it on my own and ask Him for help.  Kind of like how we parents will know our child is going about a problem the wrong way, but they're convinced they can do it, so we just sit back and wait for them to realize that their understanding of the issue is not what they thought and finally ask for help.  And sometimes it will just "kill" us as parents to do that, because we know we can't force our wisdom on them.  We can only sit back and wait.

That's how it is for God.  He has to sit back and wait because He gave up the ability to push His way into our lives when He gave us free-will.

I said my prayer yesterday morning at a little after 11AM.  And at 4:15PM exactly,  I received an email offer for a book and teaching series that I could buy that was about the problems I had just prayed about five hours earlier.

Seriously!  The exact problems I had finally surrendered to God just hours earlier.  LOL God couldn't have been anymore blatant!

I was blown away.

I was humbled that He would care so deeply about my problems, about me,  that He would be so blatant about what He wanted me to do to about them so that they could be taken care of the best way possible, and probably permanently.

But most of all, I was relieved to have an answer, a light at the end of the tunnel.

And I was crying like a child rescued by my parent.

Just had to share.

Till next time,

Stay safe.

Love ya!

Uh Oh! She's Back. LOL

Good Morning!  How are things with you today?  Yep!  I'm still around. . . . I didn't fall off the planet. LOL!  Sorry about that.  It was like I lost my focus for a little bit. Every time I would start to write, something would happen to cause me to totally lose my train-of-thought and then I couldn't find my way back to it.

But remember how I said that the devil doesn't want you to know the truth about how he works, and who he truly is?  Yeah, well I can always tell when I'm making serious headway against his lies, or when I'm learning and understanding the truth about God, or about the devil, because he will throw anything he can at me to distract me.  Stuff like, phone call after phone call, or one of the kids breaking something, or one of them getting hurt.  Or things like, the dishwasher springing a leak, the washer leaking, a pipe breaking, power outages, sneezing fits, kinking my neck and getting a migraine.

It happens every time I start making a real break-through and begin to really get what truth that God is showing me.  And it doesn't matter whether it is God's truth about Himself, me, someone I care about, a situation that I'm dealing with, or revealing one of the devil's lies, it happens, those distractions.

And that's something that God has been working hard to teach me, to make me realize just how the devil works.  And I know why too, because when I know and understand, then it takes the devil's ability to succeed away.  Isn't that true of a lot of a lot of things?  Once you know the truth, they no longer the have power to interfere, scare, control or hold you back?

And I must have been reaching someone who really needed to hear the truth about God, or the devil, because every time I started to share something new with you all the distractions would start.  But now that I finally took a step back and caught on to it again, sometimes it will take me a little bit - I'm still learning myself, I'm determined and I have my mind set that I'm going to share with you what I have been taught, no matter what!!!  The devil can come against me with distractions and such, I'm going to share with you everything that God has taught me about who the devil really is and how he works so that you can know the truth too.

And why?  Because it is freeing, and empowering.  And because, contrary to what Legalistic Religion wants you to believe, God does want us to be empowered.  After all, can you really have a good, healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone if only one person has all the power and all the truth?
Think about it.

Until next time . . .

Stay safe.

Love ya! 

Maybe This Explains It . . . .

I  hope it's a good morning for you. If you have someone who is or was a victim of the storms yesterday, please know, my heart goes out to you and them.  If you lost someone, I am so sorry.  I know, right now they're just words, but at least you know that someone is thinking about you, and I and my family are all thinking about you! 

I've had people who have used situations like yesterday, or some other news story to question me, "How can you believe in a God who would allow this to happen?"

The honest, no beating-around-the-bush answer?  I don't know.  I don't know how or why I do, I just know that I can't not believe.  I can not stop believing, it's just not in me.

And it is not a case of not having had bad things happen to me, because I have.  I was sexually abused by male family members, female babysitters, the babysitters' family members, and a couple of strangers when I was a child.  Then when I started dating, it carried over to some of those relationships.

Add to that I was bullied horribly in school because, well the best way to say it would be that because of the sexual abuse I was conditioned to be the perfect "victim".  I had absolutely no self-esteem.  That's what sexual abuse/rape teaches you, that you have no value and only the needs of the aggressor have any value.  It teaches you to see yourself as a thing to be used to gratify their needs, because your needs, your physical and sexual safety don't exist to them.

It also makes you desperate for someone to approve of you, to be kind to you without taking anything from you.  Basically, you become desperate for someone to do or say something that says/shows you that your feelings, and needs are valuable after all.

So, because of that, some people in school, and in your life, get cruel with you because you start smothering them simply because they were nice to you.  Others are cruel to you simply because they see your weakness and use it to make them feel powerful.  And still others are just plain evil.

"So, how can you believe in God???  How could He let that happen to you especially if you believe in Him???"

Because of two things, Free Will and Faith.

What do they have to do with it?  Well, let's start with Faith, you can be the most religious person on the planet, but that doesn't mean you exercise Faith.  And if you don't have someone in your life who can exercise and release their Faith, then Free Will gets in the way.

To have the kind of, and quality of, relationship with us that God wants, He had to make a big sacrifice . . . . the first one  . . . . Christ was actually His second sacrifice.  The first sacrifice, right from the beginning was to give us Free Will,  the freedom to choose to have a relationship with Him or go our own way.

And by giving us Free Will, He made the sacrifice of not being able to control everything, because if all of the people around us, even though they are extremely religious, don't know how to exercise and release their Faith then God can't work.  Because, if He's given us Free Will, then He can't force Himself into any situation.

It's that simple.  Think about it.  Pray on it, ask God to cause you to know the Truth and then just believe He will, no matter who you are or what you have done.  Because that's what exercising Faith is, just believing that it has nothing to do with who you are or anything about what you've done or not done, but instead, who He is.

Love you all!!

Stay Safe!!

Talk to you soon.

Oooooo. . . Another Secret!

Good Morning!!  Sorry that it's been a while.  But things seem to be slowing down and smoothing out around here, so I thought I'd give you a shout and let you know that I haven't forgot about you all.

I've been sitting here thinking about what I could share with you. . . .maybe about how God made two huge sacrifices to have a relationship with us. . . . or what God looks like . . . .but I decided that today was a good day to share something that God taught me that took away a lot of guilt and condemnation.

Shhhhhh!  Don't tell Religion, but it has it all wrong on this too!!!

Shit, Damn, Fuck and all those other "cuss", "swear", "curse" words that Religion says are a sin, are only a sin if you are using them to spew hate, or verbal violence at another person.

What?!?!?! How can that be?!?!?!   Lol!  I can hear all of the religious, legalistic hackles going up from here.  Ooooooo baby are they ever bristling over that one.

For years I lived under guilt because I can swear to the point even a sailor would blush.  And of course, the religious community would tell me that I'm not a good enough Christian because of it.  So, after years of just begging God to forgive me, I started asking Him to not just forgive me, but to show me His Truth.

See that's when stuff starts happening, when you ask God to reveal His Truth to you.  But don't ask, unless you have the guts to be shown you're wrong, because that's the only way it will work.  He knows your heart, so you can tell Him, but unless you surrender your will, give up your vanity about having to be "right", He will withhold His Truth because  . . . . simply put . . . .why waste His "breath" if you're not ready to really listen.

How many times have you had someone you knew who would come to you asking for your advice to solve their problem, but then they totally ignored what you said and went ahead and did things their way because they're convinced you're wrong and they're way is the only right one?  Eventually you just don't bother any more  . . . .Right?   Well that's how it is with God!  He's going to wait until  you're ready to listen.

So, I surrendered my pride, and ask God to reveal His Truth to me.  And then I reread the scriptures, and that's when God gave me an image of a religious, legalistic Christian and they're looking around to see if anyone, and if so, who is watching . . .kind of like the person Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6 so others could see him . . .  as they talk to another person.  And as this "Christian" is talking to this other person, they told them, "You're such a "flower" in my life.  Thank you for that."

Then I got that still, small, quiet  voice that asked, (you know that same one that will tell you from time to time that you should or shouldn't do something), "Flower seems like a harmless word, right?  Not if the person who said it was actually using it as a way to disguise their hate and disgust with the person they were talking to.  That's when it's a sin!  That's what gets written down, not the word, but what was in their heart."

Then as I was still turning it all over in my head, I was given the image of my husband and I when we are teasing and tormenting each other being smart-asses back and forth with each other, and he gets the better of me.

That still, small voice asked again, "What is it you usually tell him?"  I actually caught myself answering out-loud, "I usually tell him 'fuck you'."

Again that still, small voice, asked, "Do you hate him? Do you wish him harm?  Do you hold any hard feelings against him?"

"No," I said, again out-loud, and rather emphatically, which was immediately followed by that same small voice that said, "Then it doesn't get written down, because it's not a sin.  You're just not wanting to admit he got the better of you."

That's when it all became unmovable, I knew that I knew, it is not what words you use, it is how you mean them and what you truthfully have in your heart when you say them that turns them into foul language, swear words and cursing. That is God's Truth!

Hope that clears that up, a little any way, lol.

Do me, and yourself, a favor today, find one positive and encouraging thing to say about today, yourself, and someone else.  Tear down one negative thought today and replace it with something positive.  After all, isn't there enough negative going on in the world?  What's going to hurt?

Love you all!

Stay safe!

Till next time.

Hee Hee Hee Hee . . . .

Good Morning!  How are you today?  As usual I won't complain, someday I'll have to explain why I always post something positive here and it's not because by nature I'm an upbeat person lol, but I have my coffee and my hubby has a four-day-weekend, so I will consider that good!

Have you ever had something, out of the blue and from a source that you would never expect, validate you in some way?

For the last few years I've gotten a lot of crap, some from family members, over the fact that I, my husband, and children don't attend church.  And I usually get the same garbage over and over, "Well!  You can't really call yourself a Christian then can you?"  And it's always from someone whom I would call a "Religious Christian". 

You  know the ones I'm talking about right?  They're the ones that Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6 who put on their fine robes (wear all their religious jewelry, and shirts with those graphics on them proclaiming they're a Christian while they drive their cars with all the religious bumper stickers) and preach on the street corners so that they can be seen by men and be talked about how "holy" they are.  Jesus also said they were the ones that do their good works for everyone to see, again so they can be thought of as "holy" by men.  (You ought to go read the whole thing so you can see what Jesus said about how God feels about them. I like the Living Bible Version the best.)

I found it extremely validating and ironic that one of these very same "holy" Christians that condemned me was just gushing about how great of a Christian Bono, from the lead singer for the band U2, is.  "Now we know why he (Bono) has been so blessed and successful, he's a true Christian," as they shared on their social media page an interview Bono had done talking about his faith.

In the interview, he talked about his beliefs and how if he and his family went to church, it was AFTER church was finished (meaning services were over) and it would just be themselves and God in the building.  He also talked about how when he and his family pray and study the bible - and he said study not read - they all pile on the bed. 

He and his family worship God, the same way I and my family worship.  He, his family and his band all belief as I and my family.  And Bono also uses what the world calls swear words, - sometime I'll have to explain what God showed me about that- just like I do.  And yet the "holy" Christians say he's a great Christian, a real spiritual person.

Needless to say, I feel validated on my beliefs, - they think I'm a great Christian too, and that's what they truly meant to say! *wink, wink*

Thank you God, it's truly amazing how you work sometimes!

Until next time. . .

Stay safe!

Love you!!!

 

So That's Another One!

Good Morning!!  How have you all been since the last time we talked?  I know.  It's been longer than normal since my last post, but I promise it was for a good reason, my grand-baby came to visit.  And there is nothing better than listening to kids laugh.  It does the spirit good.

I noticed that there have been a lot of people who have only read the first part of my two-part post called, "The Eye Opener".  I encourage you to read the second half if you haven't, because it reveals how God taught me to see myself as He sees me.  It might help you understand why I share the things I do.  And I hope it help you see yourself differently.  And it was such a turning point in my life that I now have a tattoo on my wrist -- the only tattoo that I have I might add, lol.

That's why I share the things I do, because I was so miserable that at one point in my life I truly didn't care whether I lived or died.  Honestly, I thought about dying every day.  The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I was so afraid of losing my last chance at knowing love, because I believed that if I did, God would never forgive me.

Trust me,  at that point of my life, you could almost hear the party that the devil was throwing to celebrate.  He was a happy camper right then.

Like I've said before, that's his one goal in his miserable existence, to make us miserable so that we won't turn to God, or can't believe God would want us, forgive us, or love us.  He causes us to be rejected, bullied, and abused.  He causes us to fail, or to only see ourselves as failures.  He loves to put the grayest and gloomiest glasses on us, that only allows us to see the worst.

But that's NOT who God is, or what He does.  And the devil doesn't want you to realize that, he wants you to believe the worst about God.  And if he keeps you believing the worst about yourself, then it's easier for him to make you believe the worst about God.

Want to do an experiment?  Today, every time something negative happens, take a second, and whisper - just whisper- "Give it up devil.  I choose not to believe your lies about this."  Then, wait to see what happens.

I can tell you what will probably happen.  The first thing, you'll probably get some peace, along with something positive happening.  But then almost immediately afterwards, the devil will come against you again.  After all, he's a spiteful and jealous little brat.  And we all know how people like that can be, sometimes they need you to "stick to your guns" before they finally get the message.

So, when the devil comes against you again, just do the same thing again.  Kind of like in a video game when you keep attacking the enemy, their health bar/power bar will decrease while you become  more powerful.  It's the same thing when you stand your ground against the little brat, the devil, he loses power.  And you open a crack for God to move through.


Sometimes though, we have to learn the truth about the devil before we can learn God's Truth.  We have to learn to see the devil's lies before can see past them to the truth.   Because when you become aware of just how the devil works, and of his lies, then the illusion fades and you can see the wall.  Then the cracks in the wall become visible.  It isn't long after that, that you realize that you can see through those cracks to the other side.  

And just one of those cracks is all God needs.  Just one!  Then He can start showing you His truth, along with revealing to you, your truth as He knows it.

That's why I share, because if I can help one of you find this out even soon than I did,  then cool - I'm glad.

Love you guys!

Stay safe!!

Talk to you soon.

Two Small Questions

Good Morning!  How are you today?  I’m hoping the rain will stop before we have to move some furniture tonight.

I have to be honest, I’m not sure what to write about today. 

There’s a lot that I want to share with you, especially since I seem to have finally found my niche.  For years I have wanted to write, to get something out and onto paper.  I’ve tried writing poetry, stories, or even just my thoughts about stuff, but yet nothing ever flowed.

Even when I started this blog, I was doing it to fulfill that need to write about something.  But yet, I could never find a subject matter to stick with.

Then towards the end of last year, I reached a point in my life after having just learned about the Gifts of the Spirit, where I started asking God, “What’s your purpose for me?  What is my gift?”  I truly didn’t have a clue, even though, like I wrote about in my posts, “The Eye Opener Parts 1 & 2”, God had already taught me how He seen me, I still didn’t know my purpose in life.

And be prepared, because when you ask God those two questions He will start revealing to you everything that you are ready to receive in a way that the only words I can think of to describe it are; avalanche, suddenly being able to see, pulling back the curtain  . . .  phrases like that.

After uttering those words to God, now I totally get what John Newton meant in the first verse of his hymn, “Amazing Grace” when he said, “. . . I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now, I see.”  Because it’s just like that.  When you get to the place where you need to be in your faith, God takes the blinders off and reveals to you His Truth!  He will even cause you to be able to look back and see how everything has lead up to this moment, like dominoes falling one after another to form a pattern or path that got you to where you are.  He’ll cause you to understand things you couldn’t understand before.

And now my blinders are off!  I can look back and see how I have always been able to help people understand, or look at things in a way that helps them.  I have always been able to study the Bible successfully when I couldn’t study anything else without becoming discouraged and overwhelmed.

Then in January, I was still asking God what my purpose was (He had revealed to me what my gifts were – I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do with them), and suddenly I started having almost violent physical reactions when someone who was supposed to be a Christian quoted the Bible wrong.  I would start shaking, hard, and get very sick to my stomach.  I would also be overwhelmed by an urge to just sob uncontrollably.   My heart would race so hard that you would have thought I had been running for my life.

One morning after it happened, I prayed and asked God why it was happening and to reveal to me His Truth about what was going on.  That’s when my blog took a whole different track. 

To say I had an urge to start sharing everything God had taught me, is an understatement!  It was so strong, pushed would be a better word to use then to call it an urge.  I felt pushed.

 

Now there’s no end to the things I want to share with you that I have to stop myself from posting several times a day.  And there’s no thought to any of it, it just flows, like water from a faucet.

I asked God two small questions, a total of nine words, now look where I am.  And yet, I’ve never felt totally fulfilled before this.  Isn’t it fascinating how He’ll work sometimes?  Definitely never boring!!!

Till next time,

Stay Safe!!

Love ya!!

Yep! That's What He Does.

Good Morning!  I hope your day is going well.  My day has started out well, the new coffee creamer that I tried is a lot better than I thought it would be.  Lol.

I want to share something with you that happened over the weekend.

My family and I were doing our Bible study together, something we do every Sunday. 

And afterwards, before we said our closing prayer, we were discussing baptism.  One of our sons had asked if he could be baptized, a choice that we left to them to make, but the other son was hesitant.

So, we asked him why he wasn't sure about it, and he explained that he thought he would have to be perfect, or at least a lot better at making the right choices before he could be baptized.  And, of course, my husband and I explained, again, that God doesn't expect him to be perfect.  God cares more about what's in his heart.  And if in his heart, he wanted to do what's right for God, and was willing to try, that's what mattered to God.

We reminded him that God knows he's not going to be perfect, because God already knows him.  And that all baptism really is, is his acceptance of God in his heart and life, his acceptance of Jesus and Jesus' death so that he could have a relationship with God.  That and his promise that he will do his best to live his life as Christ-like as possible.

As we were beginning to clear up his misunderstanding about what baptism really means, we were interrupted.  First by our dog, "Lola B." who was standing at the bottom of the stairs and barking repeatedly.  But, we just figured she was throwing a temper-tantrum because she was stuck downstairs because of the gate, instead of being able to be upstairs with us.

But then our little dog, who never barks, started doing just that, repeatedly.  Since that was out-of-character for her, my husband and sons all got up and went downstairs to investigate.  And they ended up being down there for a few minutes because even with the guys down there, the dogs kept barking.  When they had thoroughly checked things out and were convinced nothing was actually wrong, they came back upstairs.

As soon as they were in the room, I told our son, we'll call him "Lil Colonel" because of his love of history, that I was pretty sure that he had begun to change his thinking about what being baptized meant. He asked me how I knew that, and I in turn, asked him if it was right about the time the dogs started barking.  He answered yes.

That's when I pointed out to him and his brother something that I have told you, the devil will do anything he can to keep us from having a relationship with God.  Even doing something like causing a distraction of dogs barking in an attempt to keep us from helping our son to know the truth.

That's what he does, lies, steals, distracts and destroys, whatever it takes to make you not want to know God.

I know.  It sounds kind of silly.  But I say this; look back at your life, how many times has something happened that caused you to believe that you weren't worthy of something?  How many times has something happened that caused you to question whether there is even a God? That's what the devil does. That is his whole goal, to keep us apart from God.

It was really cool to see my sons get it, actually see it themselves.  You could see the minute that they made that connection, especially "Lil Colonel" because he was the one being held back to begin with.

I hope that just like the boys, you learn it too, and soon, because I didn't learn it till just these last few years.  I always loved God, believed in God, but because of the garbage that the devil threw at me, I didn't believe I was worthy. Once I did learn it though, my relationship with God grew by leaps and bounds.  The peace and security that I have now is so much deeper then what it was before.

And that is my hope for you.

With that shared, I hope you have a great day.  I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay safe.

Love ya.

Part 2 of The Eye Opener

Anyway . . . .Back to our story . . . 

At one point during the two years, something happened with my youngest daughter that God would use to help drive His message for me home.  Once I was able to put it all together anyway. LOL

My daughter, who was four at the time, we call her “Renni” because she’s a Renaissance girl, was upstairs playing and I had started dinner.  You know how you’ll be busy doing something and not realize how hungry you are until you smell food? Well, that’s what happened with “Renni” because she came down to the kitchen and asked for cookies.  I, of course told her no, that I was fixing dinner. 

Well, “Renni” didn’t take that very well, and every hurtful thing that could possibly come out of a four-year-old’s mouth did!  Everything from telling me that she wished I was dead, to telling me that she was going to go live with her aunt.  And all because they weren’t mean to her like I was.  (Sound familiar?)

I never got mad at her, not at all.  Didn’t even lose my patience or raise my voice.  I just simply looked at her and told her, “‘Renni’, I’m not talking to you like that and I won’t let you talk to me that way.  Go sit on your bed and when you calm down I’ll talk to you.”  I had to say it several times as I pretty much herded her to her room, as she continued to rant at me, but I never lost my temper or patience.

How was I able to stay calm?  Because I “knew”, meaning that I was assuming  why she was reacting the way she was,  I "knew" to “Renni” eating when hungry was a big comfort.  To all of us it is, but to her it was extremely so.  She didn’t eat all the time.  She didn’t look for food when she was upset, or bored, it was only when she was hungry and being able to satisfy that hunger for some reason was more than just physically fulfilling. 

 

So, “knowing” that, understanding that, I had no anger and was able to stay patient. 

The first time I told someone about it, in the summer of 1996, they had an almost violent response to the story.  That person was almost seething when she told me how I, “should have beaten her ass!” 

I looked at this woman calmly and asked her why when I knew that “Renni” had reacted the only way she knew at the time, so I didn’t feel any anger about it as it was happening, and I didn't as I was telling her. (I still don't.)

Now did you notice when this confrontation with this woman happened?  The summer of 1996, two years and three months since my outburst at God. As soon as I was finished telling this woman about the incident with “Renni” I finally got what God had been trying to tell me since that spring day back in `94!  I couldn’t wait to leave so that I could get home and read it again.

Luke 11:11-13, “¹¹ If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or, if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
¹² Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
¹³ If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (KJV King James Version)

I like the way the Living Bible says it;

 “¹¹ “You men who are fathers—if your boy asks for bread, do you give him a stone? If he asks for fish, do you give him a snake? ¹² If he asks for an egg, do you give him a scorpion? Of course not!
¹³ “And if even sinful persons like yourselves give children what they need, don’t you realize that your heavenly Father will do at least as much, and give the Holy Spirit to those who ask for him?”

When I got home and read it again that day, I started crying, more like bawling, with relief.  I finally got it!  I finally got what God had been trying to “tell” me since that spring day when I raged at Him and then started begging for forgiveness!

He was telling me that just like I’m a parent to “Renni”, He’s my parent.

So, if I, “being evil”- meaning being only human, could forgive my daughter so completely for everything she said, how much more could God forgive me? 

After all, I could only guess why “Renni” reacted and said all the things she did.
But God, He KNEW why I said all those things.  He KNEW my heart, just like He KNEW everything the devil threw at me to cause me to be so desperate and afraid of never knowing a safe love.  He wasn’t having to guess, He KNEW!

He had been telling me all along, that if I could love my daughter so compassionately and forgive her so completely just being human, then He was able to love me even more compassionately and forgive me even more completely because He was God.

Like I said, God KNOWS you.  He KNOWS your heart, and everything the devil has used to build up strongholds (scars, baggage) in you that influence your decisions, your actions.  And because He is God, He can forgive you and love you far more deeply and compassionately than any human ever could. 

That day, my past, my future, and especially how I viewed myself took on a whole different "light". And my deepest, sincerest hope is that someday, you'll get to have a moment like that yourself.  It's a moment that is beyond the ability of any words to describe.  There's just no words to describe the intensity and beauty, joy and hope that you experience. 

Till next time . . . 

Love you all!!

Stay safe!!