Part 2 of The Eye Opener

Anyway . . . .Back to our story . . . 

At one point during the two years, something happened with my youngest daughter that God would use to help drive His message for me home.  Once I was able to put it all together anyway. LOL

My daughter, who was four at the time, we call her “Renni” because she’s a Renaissance girl, was upstairs playing and I had started dinner.  You know how you’ll be busy doing something and not realize how hungry you are until you smell food? Well, that’s what happened with “Renni” because she came down to the kitchen and asked for cookies.  I, of course told her no, that I was fixing dinner. 

Well, “Renni” didn’t take that very well, and every hurtful thing that could possibly come out of a four-year-old’s mouth did!  Everything from telling me that she wished I was dead, to telling me that she was going to go live with her aunt.  And all because they weren’t mean to her like I was.  (Sound familiar?)

I never got mad at her, not at all.  Didn’t even lose my patience or raise my voice.  I just simply looked at her and told her, “‘Renni’, I’m not talking to you like that and I won’t let you talk to me that way.  Go sit on your bed and when you calm down I’ll talk to you.”  I had to say it several times as I pretty much herded her to her room, as she continued to rant at me, but I never lost my temper or patience.

How was I able to stay calm?  Because I “knew”, meaning that I was assuming  why she was reacting the way she was,  I "knew" to “Renni” eating when hungry was a big comfort.  To all of us it is, but to her it was extremely so.  She didn’t eat all the time.  She didn’t look for food when she was upset, or bored, it was only when she was hungry and being able to satisfy that hunger for some reason was more than just physically fulfilling. 

 

So, “knowing” that, understanding that, I had no anger and was able to stay patient. 

The first time I told someone about it, in the summer of 1996, they had an almost violent response to the story.  That person was almost seething when she told me how I, “should have beaten her ass!” 

I looked at this woman calmly and asked her why when I knew that “Renni” had reacted the only way she knew at the time, so I didn’t feel any anger about it as it was happening, and I didn't as I was telling her. (I still don't.)

Now did you notice when this confrontation with this woman happened?  The summer of 1996, two years and three months since my outburst at God. As soon as I was finished telling this woman about the incident with “Renni” I finally got what God had been trying to tell me since that spring day back in `94!  I couldn’t wait to leave so that I could get home and read it again.

Luke 11:11-13, “¹¹ If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or, if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
¹² Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
¹³ If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (KJV King James Version)

I like the way the Living Bible says it;

 “¹¹ “You men who are fathers—if your boy asks for bread, do you give him a stone? If he asks for fish, do you give him a snake? ¹² If he asks for an egg, do you give him a scorpion? Of course not!
¹³ “And if even sinful persons like yourselves give children what they need, don’t you realize that your heavenly Father will do at least as much, and give the Holy Spirit to those who ask for him?”

When I got home and read it again that day, I started crying, more like bawling, with relief.  I finally got it!  I finally got what God had been trying to “tell” me since that spring day when I raged at Him and then started begging for forgiveness!

He was telling me that just like I’m a parent to “Renni”, He’s my parent.

So, if I, “being evil”- meaning being only human, could forgive my daughter so completely for everything she said, how much more could God forgive me? 

After all, I could only guess why “Renni” reacted and said all the things she did.
But God, He KNEW why I said all those things.  He KNEW my heart, just like He KNEW everything the devil threw at me to cause me to be so desperate and afraid of never knowing a safe love.  He wasn’t having to guess, He KNEW!

He had been telling me all along, that if I could love my daughter so compassionately and forgive her so completely just being human, then He was able to love me even more compassionately and forgive me even more completely because He was God.

Like I said, God KNOWS you.  He KNOWS your heart, and everything the devil has used to build up strongholds (scars, baggage) in you that influence your decisions, your actions.  And because He is God, He can forgive you and love you far more deeply and compassionately than any human ever could. 

That day, my past, my future, and especially how I viewed myself took on a whole different "light". And my deepest, sincerest hope is that someday, you'll get to have a moment like that yourself.  It's a moment that is beyond the ability of any words to describe.  There's just no words to describe the intensity and beauty, joy and hope that you experience. 

Till next time . . . 

Love you all!!

Stay safe!!